shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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