Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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