the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize