had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
