Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
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