It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just found a bag of teeth...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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