I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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