Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize