I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
