she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
