he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
