hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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