I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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