Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Congratulations! We have a period
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
