This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
