how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
