so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize