i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
