She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize