I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
