where does the pee come out of this thing
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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