While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
