I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
