Non-Jews are for practice
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
