She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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