..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
