Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
