I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
