It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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