We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
