Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
