Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
