Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
