How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
