not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
