Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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