I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize