so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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