I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
