I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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