Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
