every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My dick has a subreddit
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
