How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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