He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
