Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Who died my cat blue again?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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