i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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