walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
