whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
