My liver just broke up with me...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
