yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
