i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
