He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just puked most of my soul out..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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