I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
why do cheetos always look like penises
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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