No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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