Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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