I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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