Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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