oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
