Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
