okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
