We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize