Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
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