I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
