yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
