so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
