I want to make a zoo with you.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I had to cum in my sink.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize