I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
