kristin has been a bad kristin
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
