butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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