i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
