Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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